Pennsylvania Tempurates Hit -20 With Wind Chill

IF THERE IS A GOD, AND HE HAS MANLY NIPPLES, TOUCHING THEM IS AS COLD AS GOING OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. I MAY BE A NORDMAN, BUT CHRIST IN A HANDBASKET IT IS MOTHERF****** FREEZING. -20 farenheight (-29 celsius)

Also where my parents are... near Chicago IL (-30 farenheight, -34 celsius)

It is truly... the winter of our discontent. :x

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... WIND CHILL ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM EST WEDNESDAY...
* LOCATIONS...  IN PENNSYLVANIA, AS WELL AS  NEW JERSEY.
* HAZARD TYPES... DANGEROUS COLD AND WIND.
* WIND CHILL VALUES... AS LOW AS 15 TO 20 BELOW ZERO.
* WIND SPEEDS... A WEST NORTHWEST WIND AT 20 TO 25 MPH TODAY WITH GUSTS TO 35 MPH. THE WIND SHOULD DIMINISH TO AROUND 10 MPH TONIGHT.
* TIMING... THE LOWEST WIND CHILL VALUES SHOULD OCCUR THIS MORNING BUT CONDITIONS WILL REMAIN BITTERLY COLD THROUGH TONIGHT.
* IMPACTS... PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THE DANGEROUS COLD AND WIND MAY LEAD TO HYPOTHERMIA AND FROSTBITE IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
THIS WIND CHILL ADVISORY MEANS THAT THE COMBINATION OF VERY COLD AIR AND STRONG WINDS WILL CREATE DANGEROUSLY LOW WIND CHILL VALUES. LIMIT YOUR TIME OUT OF DOORS, IF POSSIBLE. KEEP PETS INDOORS, AS WELL.
IF YOU HAVE WATER PIPES WITHIN THE OUTER WALLS OF YOUR HOME MAKE SURE THAT YOUR THERMOSTAT IS SET HIGH ENOUGH TO KEEP THEM FROM FREEZING AND YOU MAY WANT TO ALLOW A TRICKLE OF WATER TO RUN THROUGH YOUR FAUCETS. BOTH ACTIONS MAY PREVENT YOUR WATER PIPES FROM FREEZING AND POSSIBLY BURSTING.
IF YOU ARE USING A SPACE HEATER, BE SURE TO FOLLOW THE SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS.
CHECK YOUR CAR BATTERY AND ANTIFREEZE TO AVOID GETTING STRANDED IN THE BITTER COLD.